A quick Pic...

Yes, I DO realize that my posts have suddenly slowed down to almost naught. Imagine that :-)
But they will return, albeit slowly. (It's just this past week has been more real life prep and paperwork than one could possibly imagine...)

In the meantime, I thought I would post this picture I took of 713 Ayres at the last Rave in Kintyre. This is her new Steambot Kitty Av, from her new Isle of Axis Mundi. I've been a fan of her art in world (and also in real life for some time. I have her octopus print in my powder room in the real world.)

She was dancing to disco when I snapped this; she looks so happy! If you like the av, you can pop on over to Axis Mundi and purchase one yourself, and there are lot of incredible freebies hidden on the isle in celebration of the grand opening (No affiliation, just appreciate another good artist, yadda yadda..)

Quick Real Life Post

It's a boy.
At 18 months, we got one all preassembled :-)
He comes to us next week.
So yeah, Miss merlot might be a bit busy...

...on the other hand, at nightg when daddy gets home, I might curl up with my laptop in bed exhausted and be ready for an escape to Caledon. We shall see.

My experience with Cancer.. why the RFL is important...

I've meant to write this for awhile.

Nobody can really understand the impact of Cancer until it touches you and your family. My mother was diagnosed with Breast cancer, fortunately in its early stages, 3 summers ago. She had the surgery, she had the radiation treatments... and thankfully, because of advancements and programs like the RFL she was been clean of anything for more than a year and a half now. But her life-- and ours-- will never be the same.

I can't speak for my mother, but I think the hardest thing about it for her was second guessing her whole entire life. Should she have eaten healthier? Should she have not taken hormones? Did that fall she have 10 years ago where she landed on that breast have anything to do with it? What about the deoderant thing? Is that just an urban legend? Do I have the best doctor? Are they lying to me-- is it worse than I know? Have they gotten it all?

Watching her go through that is agonizing, because people want to comfort her, but they say the dumbest things. "I know how you feel." Is not a good thing to say if you don't.

I just found out recently when I went to a wedding, that our mutual friend's mother died of breast cancer about the same time as my mom was going through it. She didn't catch it until it was too late, and did some of the chemo treatments but then chose to live her last days as best she could than struggle through that painfully and-- as he put it-- "be a burden on my family."
This friend and I connected at this wedding and are back in touch now after 15 years. Words cannot express how sad that sentiment made me, and I'm not sure if it is because I got to keep my mother and he didn't, or if it is because I was close to her when we were in high school and I feel his loss a bit. Of course, I can't really say that, because it will seem like cold comfort coming from someone 15 years apart.

I haven't even started to tell the story of my friend who had lukemia, or ..

What does this have to do with SL me?
I really feel honored to be able to be in Caledon this year, actively doing more than just shopping and buying pretty dresses here and there to donate for the Relay for Life. The people are so creative,and have come up with so many good ideas for events.
I really feel like in my very little way I'm actually part of a team of people committed to something important.

In which We Meet The Ambassador of Vulgaria...

Yesterday at the Garden Party in Morgaine I met the Ambassador of Vulgaria. I daresay he was quite a Vulgar man. I also believe he would have taken that as a compliment. He spoke of annexing the southern parts of Caledon, which he says "rightfully belong to his country."

Here is a bit of the most scandalous and yet entertaining conversation of the afternoon:

You: I wonder if the good ambassador would dance with me?
[16:49] Barken Roff: Certainly Miss Zymurgy
[16:49] Merlot Zymurgy examines the ambassador more closely
[16:50] Barken Roff: But to be fair to Caledon, it isn't all of Caledon that is formerly Vulgaria
[16:50] You: Oh? Only the best bits, I suppose...
[16:50] Merlot Zymurgy smirks
[16:50] Barken Roff: just the southeastern most lands, up to and including the Cay
[16:50] Barken Roff: North and west, you may keep
[16:50] You: Ah, like I said, the most temperate bits...
[16:50] Scotti Lyle: I daresay Caledon shall keep it all, Mr. Roff.
[16:50] Bamika Easterman: That's otta admit that.
[16:51] You: Ambassador, may I ask you a most indelicate question...
[16:51] Barken Roff: certainly
[16:51] Merlot Zymurgy coughs... your skin, it's a bit pale... I've done a bit of traveling myself
[16:52] Scotti Lyle whispers to merlot ... check his teeth ...
[16:52] You: Places like Hungaria, Romania, Snagov in particular.. Merlot Zymurgy coughs again.
[16:52] Barken Roff: Vulgaria is a land of much fog and overcast
[16:52] Roy Smashcan: Hmm, as much as I am one to despise capital cities and the people who dwell there - Caledon remains one realm, undivided.
[16:52] Merlot Zymurgy nods.
[16:52] Barken Roff: no, I am not a vampire
[16:52] You: Erm, yes, that is what i was getting at...
[16:52] Merlot Zymurgy blushes a bit
[16:52] Scotti Lyle breathes a sigh of relief and puts the turtleneck away
[16:52] You: But I'm rather fond of vampires myself... Pity.
[16:53] Barken Roff: but I can be called upon to bite and nibble in the most interesting of ways
[16:53] Bamika Easterman: Not that we have anything against vampires...
[16:53] Merlot Zymurgy chokes. Indeed.
[16:53] You: Yes, well I've been called biting as well, but usually they are talking about my wit.
[16:54] Marcus Tairov: Your whip?
[16:54] You: wi*T*
[16:54] Barken Roff looks over the most nibble-able bits
[16:54] Marcus Tairov: Ahh..I stand corrected
[16:54] You: Now sir...
[16:54] Roy Smashcan: Hmm, glancing at the history books, it seems there's been some clashes with Vulgaria before.
[16:55] Barken Roff: Indeed
[16:55] Roy Smashcan: http://hiberniaskids.blogspot.com/2007/08/concerning-events-at-loch-avie.html
[16:55] Scotti Lyle thinks Merlot can take Mr. Roff's mind off conflict with Caledon quite easily
[16:55] You: Don't mistake desire for peace between our nations for something more
[16:55] Barken Roff: yes and as you have noticed, Her Grace quickly filled in the excavations that were taking place there. and the results of the investigations of the remains found were never published
[16:56] Barken Roff: ahhh, yes, the still missing Vulgarian Virgin Skinning knife
[16:56] Merlot Zymurgy coughs again

In which I declare my intentions.

I admit wholeheartedly that i do not comprehend the holding of titles in Caledon at all. Some of them seem to be honorifics well deserved, like the knigting of Sir JJ for his work on the libraries.. others seem to be social clubs, others seem to be self appointed...

So I've decided-- and announced last week-- that I'm going to appoint myself the Official Courtesan of Caledon. Someone told me that "Miss Caledon" is already taken, but whereas that would seem to be a more honorific title, I'm basically appointing myself the official Whore of the Realm, although in nicer terms, so I am hoping that no one will mind.

Mind you, I'm not opening up an actual brothel, house of ill repute, or any other such place in Caledon. Indeed, since I very rarely participate in that sort of thing on SL, I'm probably more chaste than most of the actual Caledon nobility. But I do have many of the other characteristics a good courtesan is required to possess, and so I might as well declare my intentions.

another bitstrip

Decided to play with the bitstrip Maker....

Of course, I will probably only shock and offend...

Yay for Communication

When I was shopping today I just happened to run into the person who questioned my status as an alt. I told this person that I didn't want to make a big deal of it, but I didn't realize how much it hurt me that they would think that I wasn't a "real" person, and instead an alt of someone else they knew, come into the Caledon story to fuck with them.

It turns out that that was entirely a miscommunication, and this only goes to show the importance of making sure you keep open correspondence when you feel disturbed by something, because with our simple exchange things have been straightend and I have made a new friend.

I've been having a lot of fun in Caledon..

...but now I'm turning into that seventh grade version of my insecure self again. I'm wondering if I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with people, if I should tone myself down a little, if I should censor myself... if perhaps I should invite people over for tea more, and really get a handle on the whole "who has a title and what do those actually mean" before I act like my usual boisterous and obnoxious self on the Caledon chat channel.

I guess because there are a few people that keep up a pretty steady dialogue, and I felt comfortable just jumping right in, I forgot that there are also several hundred others who may or may not be listening who *aren't* adding their two cents. So they know who I am, and what I'm saying, and I-- on the other hand-- go blissfully along making my usual jokes and scandalizing comments and adding to the punnery.... forgetting that when I meet these people, they will already assume that they know me.

But I think, what is worse, is that last night I was accused in open chat of being someone else's alt. (I don't know whose.)

The funniest part about that is that I'm so paranoid about alts because of what happened in my first second life (I have another account that I deleted at the suggestion of Linden Labs because I was being stalked more than a year ago.) that I do only have on alternate account, and I really only have her so I can be in more than 25 groups and get the nice sales announcements.

Merlot isn't me, but she is a part of me, so it was upsetting to be accused of being an alt-- because basically I guess I was accused of being a rabble rouser brought into Caledon to make trouble, right?

Which brings me back to that middle school insecurity. I'm never going to be one of the cool kids, am I? I was talking to someone else in Caledon about this recently. I think that it is interesting how society automatically divides itself. It's not good enough that Caledon is better than the rest if second life, there has to be nobility within Caledon as well. But as I said to this particular gentleman, I think that we all should know better: were any of us technogeeks and steampunks really the popular kids in school? *grins*


I'm only Merlot. I'm not an alt. I'm a witch and a flirt and way too into myself to be someone else. (If there is any question, I can provide references... scarily enough, I think Iason has known me the whole time-- he is one of the few people who knew my deleted account.)But this is the only time I'm going to say it, because otherwise it will seem I "doth protest too much." And we all know how that appears.

Wow. I can't believe that hit such a nerve.
Now I'm going to go try to play with this bit strips thing. Yay for distractions!

If I haven't alienated you..

If I haven't alienated you with that last moving picture post, I will scandalize you instead with this one. Miss June Wozinak is putting on a Tango event this afternoon in Caledon Greystoke in the Argentinian barrios that has been built for the event.

I went there last night to help decorate and get ready-- it is really an incredible build for something that is temporary. I hope the grid co-operates, and many citizens of Caledon come and are generous with their donations... and I'm not just saying this because I'm one of the dancers.

A little off colour....

Steampunk DIY from Merlin Mann on Vimeo.


I think this is funny because he feels like there is the "one way" to do the "Vision" of steampunk. Yeah, we don't know anyone like that...

Real Life Quick Post

I'm still waiting for the call back. I spoke to my social worker to touch base last night and she said that she hadn't heard back anything yet and that the decision was taking some time. I have a feeling this means that we did not get it, or are a second choice, or something.
This waiting is a lot more difficult than the "indefinite vague waiting" that I was participating in before, so if I seem a bit distracted, that's probably why.

I probably shouldn't have broken down this wall, and told my friends in SL about it, but it's such a big part of everything right now, and so it's hard to put up that wall where it isn't. Unlike in other places in SL, where I am the wicked witch or whatever... Caledon is a place where I am more like myself than not, so it is hard to not mention the only thing that has been on my mind.

I am agog...

I am now going to spend a lot of real life money from my dear friends at Earthenwood Studios.
http://www.earthenwoodstudio.com/html/steamstones.html

A quiet night on all accounts...

I'm working on replanting my garden in Regency for the change in seasons (and my whim,) but the person who built by greenhouse and conservatory, and still apparently owns permissions on it, has disappeared and I've had to yell at him through Ims several times. He still hasn't appeared. I'm a bit irritated. So if things look generally underwhelming in regency, currently, that is why.

Real Life "drama":
Adoption people called. I will find out within the next couple of days if this will be leading to a child and a hiatus. But that is my exciting real life news. I am on tenterhooks indeed.

As for Caledon, and the like...

The big event for me this past weekend was the Relay for Life Event in which I had my pictures taken by Miss Beck Book for the "Erotic Victorian" Photo Exhibition. They are currently on Display in Caledon Kintyre. There is one of me in my normal short hair, sitting in bloomers, looking away shyly with a fan. People seem to recognize that one better than the one next to it-- which is also me. I changed my hair to a longer one that I don't much use anymore. That one, however, shows off the custom rose tattoo on my back that I had made so many eons ago when I came to SL.

My favorite pictures from the event, I must say, are Genie Burton's. Hers are almost photorealistic, really show off the Erotic Victorian genre, and have this-- well, "je ne sais quoi" about them that make them *truly* erotic. I think part of it has to do with the fact that she is such an incredible photographer in SL as well; she knows how to work the camera.

The show will be up for awhile, so please go give to RFL and buy a copy of your favorite erotically posed model. Maybe even me :-P